Photo by Zac Ong
This has been one of the most difficult times in my life and it caught me by surprise. By all accounts, this should be an exciting and happy time as Carrie and I just built a beautiful custom home, one on which we have been working over the past two years. It has been a long but enjoyable journey, and the pieces came together in beautiful ways, confirming our decision each step along the way. Yet this past few months have been filled with difficulty.
Carrie and I have walked through painful and stressful waters before. During recent years, the magnitude of them has been amplified. We have lost loved ones, left a church that we called home for a decade, graduated kids from high school, and helped launch them to college and into adulthood. In addition, we have helped friends and family walk through hard times. In it all, God has been gracious and we have felt and relied on His strength and peace along the way. Until now.
It’s not that this was the most difficult thing we have endured. Yet it was the breaking point. As I try to process what happened, I simply believe I tried to carry too much. It seemed as if everything depended on me, so I worked hard and long. I did this for so long that It was hard to turn it off and hard to quit. I worked at my office each day, and then I worked at home at night, on breaks and on weekends. There was an endless supply of things to do.
I did too much without relying on or trusting others. I unintentionally became my own god. And I crashed. I ran out of strength and I ran out of joy. I was completely depleted and running on empty. I was mad and I was sad. I was lonely and I was tired. I didn’t know how I got on this path and I didn’t know how to get off it. Carrie endured, but was tired of my state.
I had no place carrying such a burden. But we shoulder what we can and do our part. We use the strength that we have and do our best. I realized that I struggled to let that be enough. I struggled to lay my work at God’s feet each day and to trust Him to watch over it and to bless it. I struggled to put my trust in Him as God. My effort and work became the center of my days and life rather than Jesus at the center of it all.
Today, I invited Him back to the center where He belongs.
Comments 22
Grateful to be on the journey with you and so grateful you allowed this burden to be lifted. So proud to be your wife!!
Great share Danny. Thank you, sincerely, for sharing that. The best part is that you were able to realize what happened and knew exactly what to do about it. The Holy Spirit knows we all need to hear we aren’t the only ones that get caught in a ditch. Thankful for you and Carrie and thankful for the example you are to me and your many friends. A good reminder to us of “What to do” when we find ourselves in a mess., including when it’s our own doing.
Surely each of us can learn something from this. Thank you Danny for sharing this.
Thanks for your transparency !! We all walk a rough ride at times and it is always good to know we are not alone and that God has not left us!!
Thanks for your honesty Danny. Your journey is a reminder to us all that it is Jesus who is our center.
What a good reminder that grace is something we need everyday. And Jesus provides it in measures we often find most satisfying when we’ve run to the end of our own strength. Thanks for the reminder of how much we need Him.
Thank you, Danny, for honestly grappling and for courageously sharing where you are presently and what brought you here.
‘Confident in this very thing that he who began a good work in you will bring it to fruition.’
Grace, friend.
Danny dear, I don’t know a lot of things, but this I know…..
You are swimming in some new waters that seem turbulent and you feel caught in the currents that are pulling you in ways you don’t recognize. You feel rather helpless to know whether to swim or sink! But a swell seems to rising in this stream to lift you above the raging currents longing to take you down. You are actually skipping like a rock over the current and will be finding yourself in a brand new spot upstream. Like an arrow that has been sent forth from the Hand of the Holy Spirit. God wants to upgrade you to a brand new position in His Kingdom. It won’t look familiar because “all things are becoming New!” You are being re-positioned to reach a new people, a new purpose, a brand new part of the Kingdom to experience. The old ways are passing away, and the NEW has come. Embrace, Enjoy, and Delight in the newness of what this new position will bring! Be excited for what the Holy Spirit has opened up for you in this new place! For such a time as this, you are walking in a brand new journey of Discovery. Let the old fall away and behold, the NEW! You were destined for this moment in time! Delight and Discover God’s Plan for you in this new arena. Follow the Spirit of God by seeking Him…..not man’s opinion, or direction! Lean not to your own understanding….it’s only a bypath! You must hear the voice and heart of the Lord intentionally for YOU! His Love is reaching out to rescue, deliver, and help you discover a new territory! He is Your Rock empowering you to skip over the surface and enjoy the journey! My love to you and yours!
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Thanks for your kind words and love Shirley. You are a gem.
I actually prefer posts like this to the usual smiley, on vacation, perfect life stuff we normally see. We all grapple with how to live this life in this crazy culture, thanks for letting us see into yours as we deal with ours. Cheryl and I have a similar path, now at cornerstone church in Tulsa. Let’s meet up!
Charlie
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Let’s do it Charlie.
Danny – Thanks for sharing! How many times in life do we try to do it all and when we get to the breaking point, we look back and wonder, why do we do that?! Thank the Lord for his unending grace and unconditional love. As parents, we get a glimpse of this, but it seems our Heavenly Father’s grace and love is even way more than we can even imagine. Just keep trusting in His promises every day! Thanks again for your honesty and vulnerability to share!
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I agree Cindy. Thanks for reading and thanks for your feedback.
Thanks for the vulnerability. In that you are modeling our Lord’s own positioning when he faced difficulty. I am praying that the Father will mingle ‘amazement’ together with ‘agony’, in that you will have enough.
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I’ll take that Kurt. Thanks for your kind words, thoughts and prayers.
So very proud of you Danny!! I realize what a difficult season you have been having and I know you will
come out on the other side much stronger than you went in!! You know where to go for help and our Father
never lets you down!! He is a good, good Father!! And you are a good, good son!!!
Love you much!!
Mom
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Love you too Mom.
This really blessed me… You are such a dear friend of my youth… Know that I’m praying for you!!
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Thank you Caroline!
Danny, I really connect with every word. That’s all I will say for now. Let’s get coffee sometime. Blessings, Blake
Through it all you always came back to God.
I am glad you posted such a beautiful piece.
Thanks so much for keeping it real Danny! It seems to be our human condition to keep trying to do it in our own strength. Thankfully, God comes and gently reminds us of our great need for Him! I am so sorry you have been walking a hard road! We certainly have been there and will be again and your words here are a great reminder of Who to run to when it happens! Lifting you all in prayer!