How can anyone be in the right before God? Job 9:2 NABRE
One of my many sins is setting high expectations for myself and others. This can work well for improving performance, but wreaks havoc in relationships. High expectations can lead to a constant disappointment of never measuring up. And though excellence may be achieved, the price paid may be exorbitantly high.
My kids are grown now, but when they were students I had high expectations for them. They were both academically gifted and were always at the top of their class. Because they had good minds and were capable of achievement, I am sure my expectations were excessive. I so believed in them and their gifts, that if they got anything less than a A, I felt like they just didn’t try or worst yet, didn’t care. That is an unfair judgement, one which I am sure they felt from me and one which I regret.
The truth is that even perfect performance will not always yield the desired results. The Bible describes Job as blameless and upright before God stating that there was no one like him on earth (Job 1:8). Yet Job’s life fell apart as all hell broke loose against him. Though he was a man filled with integrity, his excellence didn’t yield the results desired in health, wealth or family. Due to the great misfortune and the undesirable circumstances he faced, Job’s friends condemned and misjudged him, believing him a sinner in need of repentance and reform. They were wrong.
And so are we. We set high bars, standards and expectations and when those are unmet we condemn others as well as ourselves. Or maybe as in the case of Job, the standards are actually surpassed, yet the results fall short. Could it be that we are ill-equipped to make such judgements? Maybe it would be helpful to remember that we are dust. Maybe this would help us to lower expectations. We all stand on the same level ground, equal in our humanity and equally in need of a savior. Scripture declares that all have gone astray and that there is not one good among us. This is the point Job was making with his friends when he asked the question, “How can anyone be in the right before God? (Job 9:2 NABRE).
But instead of humbling ourselves and acknowledging this truth, we justify ourselves by comparison with others, a sin we share with the friends of Job. This yields a warped sense of pride and is all too common. Scripture teaches us to do the opposite. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, scripture teaches us to examine ourselves. Instead of looking at the problems of others, scripture teaches us to humbly look at our own problems and to confess our own sins. Instead of condemnation and judgement, scripture teaches us to offer mercy and grace.
High expectations get memorialized and codified in standards of excellence and codes of conduct. These are all well and good and can provide benefits. They can also yield judgement and condemnation. This is not to say that actions do not have consequences and that justice is not important. Yet, when there is no humility and honesty related to our own failures and shortcomings and we instead condemn and judge, we are hypocrites. This is because we all fall short in some regard.
With prophetic vision, Job realized that salvation comes from above and not from our his own performance. While justice is important, there is a higher value, as indicated by James when he wrote, “for he who has shown no mercy will have judgment without mercy, for mercy triumphs over judgment (James 2:13 NABRE ).” Since we all fall short, let us live with compassion offering mercy and grace to others as well as to ourselves. Let us walk in the freedom of low expectations; low expectations of ourselves, but high expectations of God.