We have a tendency to overemphasize big, a fact which seems completely unnecessary and somewhat ironic because big is big and doesn’t need our emphasis and focus. Because of it’s size, big demands attention. Small on the other hand could use our help and support. Due to its diminutive stature, small is often times overlooked and if we are not careful, small can be missed entirely.
We’ve heard it said and even experienced that good things come in small packages. And yet we are drawn to the big. We like the big presents under the Christmas tree. We like our sports teams signing the big name free agent. We like big meals, big cities, and big raises. Even so, there are many good things that are small, even some of the very best things like babies, engagement rings, and keys to a new home. Small things include the things we hold most dear.
Carrie and I had the privilege of visiting our birthplaces our second year of marriage. We were both born in England five and a half years apart when our parents were on assignment with the Air Force. My birthplace was near Aldeburgh in Suffolk on the North Sea and Carrie’s was just down the street. When we visited the rocky beach in Aldeburgh, knowing I may never visit again, I picked up a small stone to keep as a souvenir. It sits on my desk today.
Since that time, I have a hobby of picking up rocks, usually smooth stones, from places I visit. I have rocks from all over America and around the world; from the northern tip of Nantucket, to the California coast, from Yosemite Valley, to the Valley of Elah in Israel where David slew Goliath. These small keepsakes, though insignificant in value to anyone else, are invaluable to me and hold great memories. Small things matter.
Some of the most important things given to me have been small acts of thoughtfulness and kindness. Just recently, a friend canceled his plans and invited me to spend the day with him. We live in different states and don’t get to see each other often. My wife and I had dined with he and his wife the night before, yet he cleared his calendar and invited me into his world for an afternoon. This small act of hospitality expressed love and affection to a friend.
It’s not the big things that make the big difference, it’s the small things. And small things over time become big things. I have worked for the same two men for over 25 years. Small actions over the years have yielded relationships of trust and belief. The same is true of the relationships with my wife and children. I have been a father for almost 23 years and a husband going on 27. Small actions over the years have fostered relationships of affection and love. It has been action upon action, and word upon word that has built the relationships enjoyed today. None of these seemed big at the time. Yet, the small things have become the most important things in the world to me; a loving marriage, kids that know they are loved and love in return, and work relationships built on trust and respect, honor and integrity.
In the same way, a house is built board by board, nail by nail, and brick by brick. It starts as a small thing; an idea. The idea gets vetted and eventually gets put on paper. Once it goes through a few revisions, the plan is put in motion and a home begins. An empty plot of land over a period of months transforms to property containing bricks and stone, which later becomes a home. Small becomes big.
Just as small things become big things, big things can also be undone by small things. A forest grown seed by seed over hundreds, even thousands of years can be burned to the ground by one small match or strike of lightning. The same holds true for a home. In like manner, relationships built on small words and deeds over many years can be brought to ruin by one careless word or deed. Small truly becomes big. Small things matter, both good and bad.
So focus on the small and focus on the little. Focus on the things that you can control. Focus on the nails and the bricks, the decisions, words and actions. Small and little will grow. The big will take care of itself. Remember that it’s the little foxes that will spoil the vine (Song of Songs 2:15). Focus on the little.